Everywhere we go and everything we do is seen through our own perspective — our own unique lens, if you will. Which is totally awesome! There’s only one you and how you experience your life is made up from all of your past experiences, your future goals and what’s running through that beautiful brain of yours. But, here comes the tough question: how real are you being with yourself? Really?
To help you to be honest with yourself (with lots of love and understanding, of course!), we’ve got tips from life coach Kristin Sheffer. She’s the founder of Simply Free and the author of Selfless Development: How to Find Your Purpose (which is exactly where these tips first appeared!).
How to Be Honest With Yourself
As a personal development coach, I am intimately acquainted with the inner workings of the average person’s mind. Most of my clients come to me because they want to experience growth in a specific area of their life yet they feel “stuck.” Each new client brings a unique set of strengths and struggles to the table, making my job very interesting. Despite their uniqueness, I find that they all seem to share one thing in common: the struggle to be honest with themselves about themselves.
Personal growth is fundamentally reliant on the accuracy of our self reflection. What self-honesty does is allow us to see things as they really are, not as we think they should or shouldn’t be. Often times there are big differences between the way we wish something was and the way it is. It is only through honest self assessment that we are able to paint a truthful picture of who we are. This includes our strengths and weaknesses.
1. Listen to your THOUGHTS, not your FEELINGS.
Most times we pay the closest attention to what we feel. We make choices based on what inspires pleasure, and avoids pain. Each of these things are based primarily on our feelings. Whats interesting to note is that our feelings are preceded by our thoughts. Sometimes we can do things we don’t understand and wonder why? By beginning to tune into the THOUGHT behind the FEELING, you will find some very interesting insights into yourself! You will even gain more self control and feel more empowered to direct your life.
2. Journal every day.
There are numerous benefits to capturing your thoughts through writing them down. If you think back to what you felt and did five months ago, I’d be willing to bet you can’t remember a whole lot. It’s not because it wasn’t important or meaningful, it’s just because we can’t possibly remember everything that goes on. This is problematic when something GOOD and POWERFUL happens within our mind or our life that we need to remember or pay attention to. It helps create a ‘memory log’ of meaningful moments. It also helps you sort through thoughts and feelings that otherwise can get jumbled inside your own head.
3. Give back.
It might seem strange to you that this made the list of things that help you how to be more honest with yourself but I assure you, it is not a mistake.
The benefits of giving back to those around you are so vast. When you choose to shift your focus outward (away from yourself and your own pain or problems), it puts things in a clearer perspective. This is a way of becoming more honest with yourself indirectly. You will see that after you go serve the homeless, or help a child in need, or give the gift of love to anyone in dire need, you will return home with a new mindset of gratitude towards yourself and what you have.
In conclusion, self honesty helps you know who you are now. It helps you become aware of your self beliefs in order to remove the negatives and build on the positives. From there you can determine who you want to become and how to get there. —Kristin Sheffer